I Cut Off All Contact With My Mother | Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I Cut Off All Ties With My Mother - Feature Pic

 

If I told you I cut off all contact with my mother over 15 years ago, what would your first impression be of me? And, be honest, I’m sure some of you will judge me, and that’s ok.

I’m going to share with you why I decided to become estranged from my mother and how it’s impacted my life as a woman and mother today and let me be clear……. I am very happy, healthy and living my best life.

Coming to terms with my decision to permanently distance myself by cutting ties with the woman who gave me life was not an easy one and can sound very cold and disheartening.  But I can assure you, I’m not a horrible person nor do I believe my mother is. 

Without getting too detailed into my mother’s upbringing, let’s just say trauma pretty much sums up her childhood, hence why she was never provided with the parenting tools to parent effectively when she had children of her own.  I Cut Off All Ties With My Mother - Pic

I wholeheartedly believe she raised me the best way she knew how given the circumstances and life challenges she was presented with.  However, in saying that her negative behaviors inflicted emotional damage on to me which intern tarnished my sense of self which is why I needed to cut off all communication and interactions with her.

 

BEING ESTRANGED FROM A FAMILY MEMBER ISN’T ALWAYS A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE SOLVED

Read moreI Cut Off All Contact With My Mother | Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Do You Achieve Emotional Wellness? Improve your Awareness

do you achieve emotional wellness

 

We all have busy lives keeping up with work, family life, maintaining relationships with friends and everyday responsibilities and with the ever-changing modern world we live in, sometimes it can be a little overwhelming.

Studies show that by achieving emotional wellness our overall health benefits as a result.  People live longer lives, have more energy and are able to balance their lifestyles and live a fulfilled life.tranquility-stress-free

I want to mention that being emotionally well does not mean that people are happy all the time if that were the case, we’d all be robots with no feelings or emotions. No, we are all hard-wired to have feelings and emotions both positive and negative and having the ability to understand the value of our emotions and using them to move forward in a positive way is a key component to achieving our overall wellness.

 

IMPROVING AWARENESS

If you were to ask yourself the following questions what would your response be?

  •  Do I find ways to deal with stress in my life?
  •  Do I maintain a balanced life, work, family, friends?
  •  Do I make time for myself to enjoy things I like to do?
  •  Am I able to make decisions?

If you answered “no” to any of the these you may in-fact need to work on an area of your emotional well being.  This could include a variety of activities that will differ based on the individual, and in some cases may require seeking professional help.

If you were to ask yourself the following questions what would your response be?

  •  Am I aware of my thoughts and feelings?
  •  Do I balance my home life, work, social life, and responsibilities effectively?
  •  Do I have a positive attitude when negative situations arise?
  •  Am I able to set priorities?

If you answered “yes” to these questions you most likely have or are on your way to achieving emotional wellness.

SOCIAL CONNECTIONS IMPROVE WELLNESS

It’s a fact, having positive social connections in our life is a crucial factor contributing to our overall well-being.

When we surround ourselves with positive supportive people this enhances our ability to manage our emotions more effectively.  Social groups are an important part of our identity and provide us with a sense of belonging.

Go ahead and engage in social connections, in-fact make it a priority.  Schedule a lunch date with a friend, say hello to a stranger as you walk by them on the street, arrange social time with friends, the possibilities are endless. The bottom line make it a goal to stay connected and you will be surely on your way to achieving positive results in your overall health and well-being.

5 WAYS TO MANAGE STRESS THAT WILL ASSIST YOU IN ACHIEVING EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

Managing everyday stresses can be challenging for every one of us. No one gets an exemption from feeling stressed from time to time.  But being in a healthy mindset and being able to cope with the stresses effectively is a sure way you will be on the right track to achieving your goals.

Follow these 5 steps to managing stress effectively and you will essentially be building the foundation for emotional wellness.

  • Get moving to improve your mood and decrease anxiety – that’s right, the more you move the better you feel and movement reduces anxiety – it’s true. When I exercise,  I take a long walk while listening to loud music, participate in a spin or workout class and I can feel the effects immediately

 

  • Prioritize tasks make a list of the tasks you have to do in week (or even aDo You Achieve Emotional Wellness? - Image day), place them in order from most important to least and post it  somewhere where you are able to visually see it staring at you, I post my list on my fridge as I’m in the kitchen several times during the day and can’t miss it.  Physically place a checkmark beside each task as you have completed it.  Having a visual of what you’ve completed can often help with feeling organized and having made accomplishments.  This will also work if you put your ‘to do’ list into your iPhone,  just remember to ensure to attach a reminder to your task.

 

  • Set Time for Yourself make time to relax and do something that you enjoy, hobbies, meditation, massages or read a book in a quiet space are just a few activities.  We need a “time out” and more often than we think.  If we make it a priority to set time aside each day to ensure that we nurture ourselves we are sure to be more successful with managing stress

 

  • Get enough sleeplack of sleep results in irritability, poor concentration, poor memory and an overall sense of being unwell.  Be sure to get a good 8 hrs sleep

 

  • Seek out Help reading books on managing stress, asking for help from a family member, friend or medical professional when you’re having trouble managing stresses can be beneficial in helping you develop your plan to managing success

BALANCING OUR LIFESTYLE CONTRIBUTES TO EMOTIONAL Do You Achieve Emotional Wellness? - ImageWELLNESS

This is probably the toughest component for me personally to ensure I stay on top.  It’s very easy to feel pulled in 100 different directions and feel that sense of overwhelming anxiety as a result.

It’s important we remain practical about responsibilities and not take on more than we can handle.  Being overwhelmed reduces productivity, ensure that you make time for yourself and set realistic goals and priorities.

STAY POSITIVE

When you are having negative thoughts or in the presence of negative people it’s important that you look for and focus on the positive aspects of the situation.  Sometimes it can be difficult to find the positive aspects but trust me, they’re there.  Remember to surround yourself with positive people and you will surely feel the effects of it.

EMOTIONAL WELLNESS – MAKE IT YOUR GOAL!

Having emotional wellness is essential to our overall health and well being.  Being aware of your emotions and knowing how to cope effectively will put you in the right frame of mind and give you the motivation to move forward in a positive way.

Remember to make those social connections, be aware of your emotions by checking in with yourself occasionally, balance your lifestyle and remain positive.  While some of these will be harder to achieve than others, putting a plan in place is the first step toward overall wellness.